There are some places which are magical and yet right under our nose. I wanted to take mum to Holland Park to find the peacocks and wander as we used to when we were young. I haven’t been back to the park for many years and I was pleased that there was a familiar feeling as I entered. A memory of having to climb up the first incline as soon as you enter the Holland Park gate. It can almost feel like your own personal park as it is never overcrowded and this feeling of being hidden is accentuated by the grand, elderly trees which create a sun screen over head.
My mother was taken by the young children she met along the path and stopped to talk to them as if she were the Queen. I was amused by the young ducklings and their mother. The mother duck seemed to be running away from her waddlers and they were chasing her eagerly, not wanting to be without mother.
I was with my mother who has Alzheimer’s. She still knows who I am but her life is curtailed and emotionally painful. She is forever going in circles looking for things she can’t find. Gets angry for small reasons. Falls badly and can hit her head. Panics over not being able to remember. Confuses day for night and will not hear that it is night and you want to sleep if she says it’s day.
But, she’s also forgotten that she didn’t like me or rather has always felt somehow uncomfortable with me preferring the ease she feels being with my sister. And now she smiles at me and enjoys the day and we can have times we never had before.
I’ve learnt how to look beyond the moods of Alzheimer’s and can also enjoy her too.
Long may it continue.